Curious Indulgences

I spent the weekend in a new city (for me), to help a friend celebrate her birthday. Some backstory is required. The birthday girl and I, to all appearances, suffer from something of an extreme difference in perspective. To the best of my knowledge, she has a great time getting drunk/high with friends and a few random strangers and finding out how well that worked from more coherent friends when the dust settles much later. I'm of a philosophy that thinks that I already have (as a base state of being) a dangerously minimal awareness of myself and my surroundings. For me, that's a core point of existence in the first place: to strive for a greater understanding of the universe through careful, appreciative experience. I know getting drunk and high are almost universally popular, but my occasional attempts at that sort of
indulgence were not impressive.

On the other hand, I also don't mind at all that mine is a minority opinion in such matters. I don't mind people indulging in whatever they want while I'm around, and am often amused at the results. I even have a surprising number of people who could vouch for the fact that I'm the guy who quietly cleans/covers up the occasional messes that that sort of thing will eventually create, all while keeping the secret of the problem having existed at all.

But, I have to admit that that fact hints at an inherent irony. I'm a cheerful admirer largely because I have no idea what the appeal is. I get a whimsical ironic rush from being with people whose behavior defies an empathetic response in my mind. I can't stress enough that that does not mean I'm being critical in such moments. I'm just laughing with everyone else as they have their fun in a sort of oblivious confusion.

However, there are times when I can laugh at more than that. This is where this past weekend comes in.

The birthday girl chose a bar at which to celebrate that was greeted with some skepticism from her friends. I kinda liked it. The music was quiet enough that I was able to shout out and comprehend conversations. (That is NOT usually a skill I can claim.) There was also seating available, and personal space in some areas. For me, those are perks. (Again, I admit to being an oddity here.) The music playing was somewhat amorphous. I'm told it was a hipster bar, but attempts to explain what a hipster is to me in the past failed, so don't take my word for it. The clientele looked self-conscious and homely, with few exceptions.

My group was hands down the most active group dancing. By a large margin (I didn't help). As a result of all this, it became more and more clear that the group was not really delighted with the place.

Here's where it becomes interesting. I was really enjoying it. It was a fun crowd of people to watch. The music was quiet enough that it didn't hurt. (I'm a loud volume wuss.) I was actually talking to people, since I could hear them. It was pretty fun. But it eventually started to become clear that I was in a minority for having fun. People in my group were being very critical of the place. That made me laugh even more. Everyone was getting trashed well enough. Everyone was talking well enough. Everyone was dancing well enough. And yet, apparently, the bar was failing.

Why? What goal wasn't being served?

I don't know.

And that's a big part of the reason why I make people nervous in bars.