Craziness

This one is probably not going to get any comments whatsoever, because most of the people who read it are going to assume that it was written specifically about them, no matter what I write to try to convince them otherwise.

I have to start by defining what I mean by "crazy." Today, as is typical, I am going to annoy psychologists by disregarding the vast majority of their field as an exercise in vocabulary and misapplied statistics. I am putting this in the preface for two reasons. First, my argument makes no sense if you think I'm referencing psychology manuals in this post. Second, by pointing that out myself, it eliminates the instinct for people to feel clever by pointing out that my vocabulary is too vague for any of this to be of any psychological importance. Put directly, this post is of zero classical psychological value. Think of it as a thought exercise, much like all my other posts.

That out of the way, humor me by temporarily accepting the definition of crazy as: "Predictably and reliably choosing to act in such a way as to defeat (rather than advance) one's own goals while at the same time possessing sufficient experience and/or knowledge to be able to logically evaluate the effectiveness of one's choices." That's a big old clusterfuck of words, so let me give some examples. By that definition, frequently eating tubs of ice cream and huge boxes of chocolate while actively trying to lose weight is crazy. However, doing the same thing after being misled to believe it would cause you to lose weight is not. Actively humiliating everyone around you while trying to become popular is crazy. Doing the same thing as an on-the-clock dominatrix is not.

I frequently notice that practically everyone, say, with a telephone number stored in my cell phone is completely crazy in at least one, if not many ways. Most people, by contrast, have a relatively small number of crazy people with whom they are in touch. People are going to argue with me on this. Everybody knows people who down tubs of Ben and Jerry's while on a diet. But remember, if they call it taking a break from the diet, or they hate themselves for it, that's not crazy, it's just gross mismanagement of life goals.

This "everyone I know is crazy" premise raises a few fascinating questions for me. To try to make sense of it, it's best to take a few steps back and try to move inward objectively. First off, the question of causality has to be considered. A few theories suggest themselves immediately:
1) The entire premise is wrong. I know just as many crazy people as your typical person, but for some reason, I have convinced myself incorrectly that everyone I know is actually crazy while those that I do not know are not.
2) I encounter just as many crazy people as you'd expect, but something about being in casual contact with me drives people to disorder.
3) On some level, I weed saner people out of my circle of associates leaving only crazy people to represent.
4) The observation is correct, but due to nothing more than random chance.

Theory four is extremely unlikely, given the fact that the trend spans my entire life and symptoms are rarely (if ever) vague.

Theory one seems likely, except for the fact that my definition of crazy is so easily verified. If peer-accepted, verifiable proofs can be written that agree that what I'm calling crazy is completely irrational, then the problem is not on my end. I actually check that sort of thing more often than people are willing to believe. Theory one does not seem to be the answer.

Theory two will make many people happy, so I'm not going to argue it. But if you're indifferent to it, let's assume it can be easily disproved.

That leaves theory three. I am not qualified to objectively judge that one, but it strikes me as very likely. People living unremarkable, but generally successful lives earn my general respect, and some polite chit-chat. But I don't spend a lot of time thinking about them or seeking them out. However, people whose lives seem irrational to me are fascinating.

I need to break here to clarify something. Some people are TOO crazy for my taste. People who are so out of it that they actually manage to destroy their lives do not interest me. I know a lot of crazy people who fit this bill. They make me nervous, but I generally find them harmless unless they seem to wield undue influence on my friends or family. That's it. I like crazy people who, despite isolated pockets of complete, vested insanity, lead interesting and overall successful lives. I know lots of them.

I am then left trying to explain why this might be. It's certainly not a planned thing. But I think I have come a long way towards explaining the attraction. The act of discovering the rationality behind what I call crazy behavior is a way for me to experience the craziness for myself in a controlled environment. Put differently, I am instinctually, fanatically pragmatic. That's an excellent trait to have if you are the sort of person who enjoys abundances of creature comforts and basic needs. It's a terrible trait if you only take pleasure from risk.

I am sort of a hybrid of the two. I am not even remotely inclined to create huge risk in my life, but I love the sense of adventure that comes from knowing people who create small pockets of it instinctively. Further, I eventually hit a point where I can emulate the adventurous mindset in my head without actually causing all the real world trouble.

This goes a long way toward explaining why I never get bored.

How many of these classics can you perform?
--I have a strong instinct to be romantically involved, but I make sure that I never am by rationalizing that the only people worth having are the ones who by definition are unable to return my feelings.
--I hold myself back from getting involved with other people because I believe that I am dating someone who does not realize this fact.
--I believe that the only way to be sure that people like me is by repeatedly testing if they are willing to put up with me while I am being contentious.
--I believe that the best way to evaluate details about my own appearance (fashion, hairstyle, mannerisms, etc.) is by how attractive I think they are, not how other people in my life react to them.
--I believe that I and everyone else should comply to accepted fashions, trends, and brand names without regard to function or objectivity because the trends are widespread.
--I believe that I am capable of judging people's choices in life without trying to understand the circumstances or mindsets in which they were made.
--I believe that my strongest-felt instincts and opinions are the ones that will serve me best in life.
--I believe that the best way to manage my insecurities is by accusing other people of being worse.
--I believe that I can behave however I want towards other people, because there is no limit to the amount of time I can spend happily alone.
--I believe that society or family members are inherently indebted to me and must cover for me such that I need not take any responsibility or make efforts to prevent damage from my greatest weaknesses.
--I do not believe that fortuitous choices in my life might be unwise in the lives of others.
--I believe that correlation implies causality.
--I prefer to be unaware that I live my life in response to lies people create for me, if I think that I will be unable to feel as secure in the face of facts.