I thought I’d celebrate the economic recession by teaching you how to have fun for free. Put all the money you save by doing this instead of other fun things into savings. In a few years, you’ll be rich!
Sarcasm aside, I really do have a fun idea for you to try.
Do you get junk mail? Sure you do. Do you get lots of it? I’ll bet! Would you like to find the guy who sends it to you and kick him squarely in the nuts? Of course! Who wouldn’t?!
Here’s what you do: every day, go out to the mailbox. Be excited! You’re a rebel. Go through the mail and eagerly extract all the letters offering you credit cards, religious experiences, the chance to donate money to “worthy” causes, etc. Open these letters immediately.
These letters are special because they almost always contain a return envelope. Eagerly extract all of the free return envelopes out of your mail. Deposit the rest of the contents of these letters into your shredder.
The return envelopes that come in junk mail are special. They have fun messages on them like “No Postage Necessary If Mailed From Within The United States.” Those envelopes are your friends.
Take all of these empty return envelopes and lick them. Seal them carefully, then put them back in the mailbox. They will start a new journey through life as they target their original senders like brilliant heat-seeking missiles.
In a few days, they will have found the companies that sent you junk mail. Those companies will then be hit with your mail bombs. They will open them and scream in horror at their emptiness. Then the post office will send those companies a bill for $0.41. That’s forty-one cents that the companies who sent you junk mail will NOT be able to use to send you more.
Smile serenely to yourself. It wasn’t quite as satisfying as send a REAL mail bomb to junk mailers, but it’s extremely effective. Over time, it will help make sure that the only companies who have the money to send you mail are the ones with worthwhile goods or services.
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2 comments:
Empty. How dare you send it empty. You are supposed to clip coupons for various fun stuff you think they'd like or send them strage letters. If your name isn't on the paper, send them an offer for a competing credit card.
That's true. Those are fun options! Now that I think about it though, dead leaves and grass also offer some fun potential.
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