[Originally Posted 11/7/07]
So exactly one unexpected person took objection to my ridiculous post about Britney and has devoted several occasions during the past few days to trying to set me right. It seems that when I derived conclusions from an article (stating that she spends less than half her money and has massive existing investment holdings) I was incorrect to assume that this means she is actively saving her money like I claimed.
Beats me. I wouldn’t know. This assertion came with several supporting news links of which I read roughly 0%.
It does kinda seem likely though.
Ok, ok. I’ll do what any mature humor writer would do and stop to take a moment to post an entry designed to correct my er…
WHY CAN’T YOU LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE?!?!?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!???????????1111111 WHAT HAS SHE EVER DONE TO YOU BUT GIVE YOU TONS OF GOOD CDS AND MUSIC AND SO MUCH MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111111 OH MY GOD IT’S LIKE MY WORLD IS COMING TO AN END!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111111 MY SOBBING SHAKES THE EARTH LIKE THE TITANS BEFORE US AT THE BIRTH OF HERCU... Wait, sorry, that’s not right at all. Let me pick that back up at “my sobbing.” Ok… MY SOBBING WETS THE EARTH WITH A MILLION EMO TEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111111 WHY MUST I DROWN IN THE WATERS OF MY OWN SORROW??!?!?!?!??!!?!?! SHE LIVES A SHITTY LIFE IN REHAB AND SHE TRIES SO HARD AND IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111
There. Now that that’s over, I hope we can all just dry ourselves off and get back to our lives. See, I saw right through that vile trickery. I’m going to continue to defend Britney without checking facts for one bulletproof reason. I’m still pleased with myself for describing her and Ann Coutler as ‘the tea party of unlikely women I’m defending.’ That tea party is going to keep rolling until I get my own cast of “The View” going here. Deal!
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