“Scrabble” Extortion

Has anyone else noticed that Facebook’s latest gift options are four “Scrabble” tiles? That’s right! The tiles “L,” “O,” “V,” and “E” are available to be purchased at the low cost of $1.00 each.

Presumably, the thought is that people will be likely to buy a bunch of them as a set in order to send cute messages to sweethearts. It’s like they’re extorting money from cutesy gullible types.

But have you noticed that “LOVE” is worth a measly seven points in “Scrabble?” I mean, really. It’s like they’re subliminally suggesting that if you’re the kind of person who’d do that, you’re a huge loser (at “Scrabble”).

I say that it’s pretty clear that a real winner (at “Scrabble,” relative to the romantic above) would be the person who sends “EVOLVE” to all his or her tweaked out fundamentalist friends. That’s got a base score of twelve points off the bat, and it’s long enough that I bet you could hit a triple word score for a cool thirty-six.

Plus, you could explain to them that you’re just trying to win at “Scrabble.” You could highlight that, in “Scrabble,” “love” doesn’t even remotely conquer all. Fundamentalists typically love math, so they’ll understand.